The combination of believing in a soulmate and oneitis are the two most dangerous beliefs any one man can hold. The soulmates myth makes your average frustrated chump think that he is locked into one particular woman, of which he will never be able to do better. Oneitis is the result of men who choose to live conventional lives the way our current female centric society dictates.
Conventional Lifestyles Only Lead To Oneitis
Men who lead conventional lives of going to college, getting a worthless degree so they can get into their corporate jobs will never find themselves in abundance of income, charisma, or women. This causes the average male to easily develop oneitis, any time they are lucky enough that any semi attractive girl willing to offer sex and companionship to them. These women are usually over the hill settling for a beta provider. For the average male having women offer themselves is such a rare circumstance that the thought of losing this one female’s attention can be emotionally crushing for a man with few to no options.
In Her Frame
This puts the average man in her frame as he needs her more than she wants him. That causes betatization through a thousand concessions in which men will stay in relationships that become abusive or toxic. No matter how much their gut instinct tells them to drop their LTR they “feel” that this is the one for me, my soulmate.
“I’m not as in shape as I was when I was younger.”
“I am in my 30’s or 40’s I want an “age appropriate” girlfriend. So I can’t do better.”
“This is what God/fate put on this Earth to be my wife.” Or whatever other magical thinking makes him feel cosmically attached. This leads males to resign themselves to accept their fate as a plow horse who is there to open his wallet and repeat such bullshit mantras such as, “Happy Wife, Happy Life.”
A man who resigns himself to accept this fate as normal cannot impossible hold any form of Frame or self. The plow horse simply lives for her benefit. As he falls deeper into her frame, she will grow more unhappy and disappointed with his lack of masculinity. Eventually she will grow disgusted to the point sex will become a chore or completely stop.
With stagnation in any relationship hypergamy will kick in and if she sees she has more options than him she will convince herself it is okay to betray her plow horse.
“We aren’t intimate anymore.”
“We are just cohabitating to raise our children anyway.”
When she sees an opportunity to exercise her hypergamy she will not hesitate using mental gymnastics to justify betraying him.
In all my years this is the general pattern I have observed in many failed marriages that leave men irreparably damaged, black pilled, or to suicide.
Prescriptions
Find your purpose. Most people working J.O.B.s aren’t particularly happy with their work. They work in order to pay their bills and experience life. This takes time, but as part of self improvement find a balance of work that can be enjoyable while challenging and develop those skills. Spins it off into a side hustle. Even if you aren’t anywhere near the top you’ll have a sense of purpose because you will be working on something you enjoy or believe. This takes time, so don’t start tomorrow, do it today. When shit hits the fan in life you will always still be needed if you truly found your purpose as a man and are making YOUR dent in the universe. This will prevent you from falling into the trap of making her the center of your universe.
Understand that we are still animals. Women smell nice and smell nicer when they give us access to their bodies and companionship. But in reality any women with attractive features that isn’t a land whale can provide those feeling. Sure some more than others, so if you are truly working on yourself spin plates. Make women compete for you, but obviously this only works if you are doing the work. Nobody cares about your struggles.
If you feel that plate spinning is wrong or immoral then I must break it to you, that you have internalized female thinking. Many men suffer from this as being raised by single mothers, female or gay teachers, and media have been grooming you into thinking like a defective girl. You feel plate spinning is wrong because your default thinking is geared towards only benefiting the women in your life. It is imperative you deprogram yourself. Put yourself first and develop Frame.
There are no soulmates. Great men throughout history had harems and concubines. Do you think any of those great historical figures were thinking that is was unfair they had hoards of women who gladly had their children in exchange for resources, safety, and comfort?
Stop Sedating Yourself
It is easy to not do any of this if you are content with porn, drugs, video games, and alcohol. If there are distractions in your home then get out of your home. At the end of the day, you will get out of life as much as you put into your life.